Today I feel the urge to take on the issue of Hon. President Kikwete’s recent trip to the U.K. to attend the Family Panning Summit. I am fully aware this issue has been growling inside the empty stomachs of many comrades. However, I fully support our Commander-In-Chief on his decision to attend, because I believe the summit was of great importance to our nation, although its impact won’t be felt immediately. I will explain.
The other day I was reading Zitto Kabwe’s article about “The Bottom 30Mil”, and I found myself getting an Afrigasm. I felt guilty afterwards, because I wasn’t supposed to have Afrigasm, but Afrinightmare. I felt like I had crushed a party — their party. Even worse, I felt very un-Catholic like, for having Afrigasm of wet dreams that night.
I had no option but to repent, I mean reflect, on those pictures that were on the article, and even creating my own images drawn from the narrative of Mr. Kabwe’s. I thought to myself, this is what we hide from facebook, huh? The contrast of two Tanzanias, I call it. The Tanzania we see through the eyes of our friends’ pictures on facebook, and the hidden reality of the majority, The Bottom 30Mil. I know, you probably now feel like those biased Western journalists who cover Africa, and you should. The 30Mil are like the dust we sweep under our beds, forgetting that, we’ll later inhale and get sick from that same dust.
“But how is all this related to the President’s trip to the UK,” one member of the parliament banged on his table. Aggressively! Let me connect the loose wires, si’ you know, kila kitu Bongo mission town, I respectfully responded.
Zitto Kabwe’s article is very clear with its figure, 30Mil people living in destitution. That’s a lot of people, and something needs to be done. Here is my unconventional solution that I trust its effectiveness. This is because, after reading all the intellectual solutions to this problem, on how we can help the 30Mil, it’s evident that we never seem to learn that we’re not a nation interested in intellectual solutions. If you don’t believe me, Google Map a library near you and see how many dots will show up. Go and do a survey and see how many books have been read in the last six months. In addition, most of Tanzania’s great minds have their names either huff and puffin’ dust somewhere, or they are labeling our street signs, instead of being in our school curricula — where they belong.
One thing is clear though, we’re a very poor country that “cannot” take care of its own without assistance. Let me break it down for you, in an American A-for-apple-B-for-Bikini format.
We’re like that poor family that has many children that it cannot care for. What’s the obvious problem here, bad family planning. That poor family needs to be educated about family planning. In our case, “Bottom 30Mil” people, that’s a lot of children, and God help us that figure doesn’t multiply in the next 10 years, because the family will collapse. Therefore, this summit was important, because we need to control the population, actually shrink it, so the little resources that we have can be used efficiently and benefit everyone.
I commend The President for the trip, even after all the criticisms that always bounce off his Batman suit that he wears with a beautiful smile, in this Gotham City. In the near future, we will realize how important this meeting was. I’m not surprised by our short-sightedness, because we’re the same people who treated “Maisha Bora kwa kila Mtanzania” like that Jesus story about multiplying the fish and bread, thinking they (our politicians) would do the same by multiplying that political slogan and feed us all the “Maisha Bora”. This is where who plays Jesus and who plays Judas between us and them gets very, very confusing.
Anyways, since we’re not going to cut on spending, then let’s shrink the population, and the Family Panning Summit was a great start.
PS: Someone please tell these members of parliament, their bangin’ and bangin’ on the tables gives us no Afrigasm. When will they learn? Looks like the constitution reform discussion should not neglect the proposal of adding some pieces from the Kamasutra, to guide these members of parliament on how to get us excited. Well, I mean to excite the country so it can reach its climax potential. Ok it’s enough, too much information.