Ripoti kamili ya udaku

Na Mwandishi Wetu

Nitaanza kwa kuhakikisha kichwa cha habari kina neno tata ili kumvutia msomaji, na hasa kumshtua!

Aya ya kwanza ya taarifa yangu ya ‘utafiti’ itaanza kwa kurudia kichwa cha habari pamoja na kuongeza chumvi kumfanya msomaji aendelee kufuatilia habari.  Nitajaribu juu chini kutumia maneno ya kiujumla kuelezea tuhuma/sakata/skendo hii ingawa sina nia ya kujadili kwa undani. Ikinibidi nitaweka hitimisho hapa hapa kwenye aya hii hii.

Kwenye aya itakayofuata nitajaribu kumuelezea zaidi mhusika tunayemjadili. Kama tumeshawahi kumuandika mhusika  katika magazeti yetu, nitaendeleza jadi ya kulitumia jina lake la umaarufu (mara nyingi majina haya ni sisi tuliyowapa). Kama taarifa inamuhusu kigogo fulani, nitataja sifa zake zote za kimaumbile au tabia,  ila nitahakikisha silitaji jina lake.

Nitahakikisha natumia maneno marahisi, na hasa ya mtaani pamoja na kuzifanya sentensi zangu ziwe fupi. Kila mara nitaangalia upenyo wa kutumia maneno yafuatayo ili kumvutia msomaji: tsunami, mlipuko, kasheshe, songombingo, mdebwedo na mshikemshike.

Katika aya hii nitajaribu kuongeza imani katika ripoti yangu kwa kutaja kuwa taarifa kuhusu tukio/tuhuma tunazoziripoti zimepokelewa kutoka kwa vyanzo vya uhakika. Au kwa kuweka bayana kuwa taarifa hizi zimetolewa ndani. Nitahakikisha ninataja kwenye mabano kuwa jina la aliyetutonya tunaliweka kapuni au tumelihifadhi. Kwa namna hii ninaendeleza ajenda yangu, ninataka msomaji ajue kuwa nikitaka kumuumbua mhusika ninaweza, ila basi tu, sitaki.

Ukweli?
Ukweli?

Kwenye aya itakayofuata nitaweka bayana kuwa jitihada zetu za kumtafuta kwa simu huyu celebrity tunayemchambua hazikufanikiwa. Kwa hili jitihada zetu huwa zinagonga ukuta mara kwa mara, in fact simu yake ilikuwa imezimwa. Kwa namna hii ninajaribu kuonyesha umma kuwa ninajali maelezo ya upande wa pili, ingawa ukweli ni kwamba hii sio motisha yangu. Pia wasomaji wangu watafurahi kufahamu kuwa namba ya simu ya celebrity huyu ninayo, na hivyo kunipa chati pamoja na kukipandisha chati gazeti letu.

Nitahakikisha kuwa kurasa nzima imejaa picha nyingi zaidi ya maneno ya ripoti yangu; si unajua wananchi wetu wanapenda kusoma vya chapchap? Hii sio Nyu yok Taimz bwana. Nitatafuta picha yoyote kutoka mtandaoni ya mtu maarufu au tukio lolote lile hata kama havihusiani! Nitaibandika picha yoyote bila kuifanyia formatting kwani nia hapa ni ‘ujumbe’ ufike tu.

Sitajitahidi kunukuu chanzo cha picha hii kwani ahh, sina muda. Kunukuu vyanzo Bongo? Nitajaribu kila niwezavyo kufuta maandishi yaliyowekwa na mmiliki; nikifanikiwa ninaweka nembo yangu ya hati miliki. Mambo ya Photoshop. Pamoja na hayo, nitahakikisha ninabandika picha nyingi zaidi za utata, ili mradi tu niendeleze ajenda yangu ya ‘kupaka.’

Kabla ya kumaliza nitahakikisha ninatunga nukuu kadhaa kuhusu yaliyosemwa na mhusika kuhusu habari hii, au nukuu za maoni ya watu mbali mbali mtaani.

Mara nyingi aya yangu ya mwisho sio hitimisho, na hivyo ripoti huwa ninaiacha ikining’inia…

Nadhani nimemaliza. Ngoja niitume.

Tayari.

Oh no, nimesahau kupitia spelling.

Previous ArticleNext Article
Joji was born and grew up in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania. He graduated with a B.Sc in Biochemistry in Germany, and is now pursuing a Masters degree in Microbiology & Immunology at the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology (ETH) in Zurich, Switzerland . Joji is particularly interested in matters related to global health, and basic science research that tackles public health challenges. He is engaged in mentoring Tanzanian students in higher education issues, most notably at the Kibaha High School. In this capacity, Joji blogs with Vijana FM about scientific research and development, and how youth can gain greater access to higher learning.

This post has 5 Comments

5
  1. Watch out vijana! are you really following the footsteps of global publishers? I dont want to regret as to why I tried to advertized your website if at all this is the direction of your endevors!

    Great thinkers are always not after personal affairs, they rather think broadly and wisely. Think twice before your decide.

  2. Malkiory, naona umeichukulia kwa uzito sana. Nadhani wahusika wakiiona kilichoandikwa, wataumbuka… Labda wana kitu kama hiki; ambacho wanakifutata kama misahafu, kwasababu wana “consistency.”

  3. Malkiory, this was a cheap attempt to make a mockery of the Tanzanian tabloid press, the ones you mention in your comment and others. Sarcasm. Ni utani tu.

  4. Joji, I like that creativity. The originality of an endorsing critique is better than eminent and would be funny if it wasn’t so serious.

    The priceless script you created affords one a more frank, lighthearted and non-confrontational way of blasting tabloids from an insiders viewpoint.

    Lately I have been thinking a lot about the role of art in changing a society. Your piece injects a refreshingly new style of criticism whose sarcasm has a better shot at unearthing the lack of journalistic integrity than the usual expose which always carries the risk of being interpreted as a holier than thou complex.

    In resigning yourself to the pen of the tabloids, you empower your narrative with an insider’s mind better than an outsider’s critique would have.

  5. Nimeipenda hii- manake saa nyingine unasoma habari kwa hamu halafu unakuja kugundua kuwa habari ingeweza kuwa ya mtu yoyote as haimtaji mtu hata mmoja. Sijali sana ikiwa kwenye magazeti ya udaku lakini inatokea hata kwenye habari muhimu. Mfano – “vigogo wawili (jina kapuni) wanatuhummiwa kwa rushwa” –

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Send this to a friend