Beauty is believed to be in the eyes of the beholder, unless the beholder has squint eyes, right? When squint eyes make a judgment call on the matters of beauty, things can get very complicated and very fast indeed. For example, squint eyes can describe one’s look using the word like kustaafu rather than calling a spade a spade, like kujiuzulu, which technically means ugly. This lil’ friendly fire can cause the line between kustaafu and kujiuzulu to be blurry as you have seen. Just imagine you’re set up for an arranged marriage, with a beautiful girl so you’re been told, just to find out, the person who actually picked your bride to be is squint eyed, what will you do?
Unlike beauty, Madonna seems to think “the road to hell is paved with good intentions”. My question to you, what do you think the road to Ikulu 2015 is paved with?
The road to Ikulu is going to be like Olympics coming to town, with plenty of runners, even those accused of corruption ready to get their Usain Bolt on. However, the existence of Mafisadi (Mapapa) is almost like this intangible thing. Reginald Mengi once tried to touch this thing, but I’m still yet to see one. The existence of Mapapa can be debatable, but again “God created everything…..that is seen and everything that is unseen”. For Mapapa, they fall in the “unseen” category, while you and I fall in the sin “seen” category. They also seem to posses some type of mystical powers. If you may choose to speak ill of them, in a blink of an eye you could find yourself nursing few broken ribs, or bleeding from an open wound, or even watch your life play hide and seek with you.
Some people have claimed to have seen these “unseen” things in churches and mosques, adding that, these things are actually beautiful. Mind you, the state of these peoples’ eyes is yet to be determined. Were they wearing 3D glasses? Its still unknown. But maybe it’s true, that these things are beautiful, thank God for plastic surgery. Who could blame them, after all, nobody has ever gotten aroused by the inner beauty. Image is important, reason why having Priests and Imams as your plastic surgeons is a key to winning any pageant.
Also taking pictures with Jesus himself is vital. This is because, people will judge you based on the company you keep. But what if I told you, the Jesus you instagrammed yourself with is fake (a statue), then what does that say about you?
If dipping ones head in the holy water is enough to cleanse one of their sins, and become “seen” again, then I’ll be more than happy to not just dip my head but scuba dive all together. This idea of dipping in the holy water being a magic washing liquid to every kind of grease is promoted by some people. These “unseen” things don’t need to be prayed for; they need to be spanked for Jesus. I know that sounds a bit kinky, but trust me, when the rubber hits the road, only sparks will fly and sounds of howling like wolves will be heard. In case the aa-oooooooo sound is not heard, spanking must resume. Maybe the new constitution committee should holla at this spanking hawt idea, just a suggestion.
Spanking might sound a bit cruel, but so is the Premiers green light to the police to beat us up. They are given permission to use their Nondi, and if the symptoms persist, to K.O with their Zondi. So hey you trouble maker, they dare you to “come get it“. But who am I to throw the first stone or judge what’s right and whats wrong. Who is beautiful and who’s not, even though other beauties are non-debatable. Therefore, let’s just let beauty continue to be defined by the eyes of the beholder, or let us define ourselves like Kanye. If he wants to define himself as God and Yeezus (kwa jina la Baba na la Mwana…), who am I to question, especially when there is a word like reincarnation in the dictionary.
In the end, I hope the truth comes to light, as we all know, God works in the most mysterious ways. On that note, maybe something good and special will come out of this bad thing, because even in arranged marriage deep and genuine love can grow. Therefore, I wish Tanzania nothing but the best of luck, as we will soon seek for our second soulmate, hopefully, because we also know a thing or two about loss.
Further reading:
I really dig how you mesh together so many important questions in one creatively written piece. As always, this was a great read. The most important question that came to my mind while reading was: On what basis are laws formed. There is always the founding constitution, international human and civil rights and something else… What does the something else comprise of? If it is religious, then shouldnt religious leaders be involved? If it is based on business, shouldnt business leaders be involved? What is that something else?
Kweli….!! endelea!!